We all know someone out there whose kids are being raised by someone else. This isn’t so bad when the parent appreciates the help and acknowledges that they have it easier.  However, too often they act as if they are parent of the year, the person who has it all together, while simultaneously deriding parents who struggle without such a handy little support system.  I abhor this type of parent.
Recently, I had a run-in with a single mother whose mother does everything for her. She’s never truly felt the effects of being a single parent. She’s never struggled to pay the crippling cost of daycare. Her mom has always taken care of her child while she worked.  She’s never had to worry about who is going to take her child to and pick her child up from elementary school.  Her mom does that.  Her social life hasn’t take a hit. She just dumps her kid off at her mom’s and has never seemed to care about how often she does it. She wants to take a week long, child-free vacation? Mom will watch her kid. Knowing all this, she has the audacity to tell me, “No one knows being a working mom like me” while looking down on me for struggling.  Yes, you have a job, but know you don’t know anything about being a working mom.  Your mom does everything but wipe your ass for you.
She’s not the only mother I’ve met like this. I met a single mother in law school who left her child with her mother while she attended law school in a town three hours away from where her mother lived. In all fairness, she didn’t brag about herself. Her best friend handled that. Still, I couldn’t believe she could leave her child and initially, I felt bad for her. No, she wasn’t playing an active role in raising her child, but she was bettering her life so that her child could have a better life. She probably couldn’t get into the only law school closer to her mother. My opinion of her parenting changed as I got to know her. When given a chance to go home to see her child for the week of spring break, she chose to spend every day of it in Mexico. I lost all respect for her.
I know that I sound judgmental, I know it often truly does take a village to raise a child, but I get tired of hearing parents brag about how “together” they are, when they don’t have to worry about the things other parents do. If your lifestyle doesn’t take much of a hit as a parent, you’re not experiencing any of the negatives of becoming a parent. You have subbed out the care of your child to someone else. That doesn’t make you, in any way, parent of the year, so please, don’t put yourself on a pedestal above other parents and resist the urge to brag about yourself.